Day Five

I still have the images of the dead villagers in my head, I just can’t forget them. Why, oh why, did they have to murder all of them? The children, the babies, they couldn’t have done anything, they were no threat! Then Magdalena and Manolete completely changed my life. I remember the look Magdalena had on her face when I found her, so terrified and shocked. It almost seems like the loyalists killed the villagers to make us, the revolutionaries, hate them. Well, if they did, it definitely worked, I hate them now. Hate is another change in my life. I haven’t hated anyone before, now my heart is full of hatred towards the loyalists. I guess that’s part of being part of the revolutionary army. Cruelty is another part of the revolutionary army, but I haven’t gotten used to that yet. Lolo and Ignacio seem to have gotten used to it, or at least they don’t show their feelings as much as me. I just can’t shoot people, the fact that it is murder keeps on coming back to me and the blood... Lolo doesn’t have problems with that, in any case not when there are nice boots that make you get blisters to steal. All this has changed me; I am a different person now. Now I’m used to being silent, not making one sound. I’m Part of the Patrol now and I can’t go back to my old life, not with this war happening. I will train and the next time I go on a patrol, I will do better. I will be able to shoot Loyalists, and revenge the villagers.